On the Trustworthiness of Your Internal Organs
Therapists are always saying "listen to your body." They seem to assume it's some wise, 90 year old aunt spitting clever insights that both lay bare why you do what…
Finding My Baby Loons Or, How I Learned to Stop Overthinking about Otis Redding
I am a lot like Otis Redding. Except that I don’t sing R&B professionally. And I'm white. And not dead. Ok, I’m going to start over now. I’ve had a…
Less Art, More Play
Twelve years ago today a very cool online magazine called Strange Horizons published my first short story. If you’re interested, you can read it here. It’s not terribly long (which…
About a Girl
Almost 18 years ago, we brought this girl home—weighed about seven pounds eleven ounces, slept a lot, pooped a lot. Played this game where she’d just start crying and you’d…
Getting My Father Out of a Ketchup Bottle
I meant to write about our last summer vacation as soon as we got home but, well, things never go as planned. At least that’s what a lot of annoying…
A New Year’s Resolution That Can’t Stand Keanu Reeves
I just remembered that I haven’t written anything in over two months. At this rate I’ll need to rename the blog to PaulJokesFairlyInfrequently, which is nowhere near as catchy. So…
A Hastily Made Tribute to Hastily Made Costumes
Somehow Halloween costumes have become almost a competitive sport. As someone who doesn’t engage in cosplay, I totally blame cosplay. There’s no reasonable evidence for that opinion but luckily reasonable…
Tying Together Robert Frost, COVID, and Peeing
Well, not literally tying them together—that sounds like a graverobbing gone horribly, horribly wrong. Now that the pandemic is finally winding down, some people—by which I mean me—are reflecting on…
Foiled by Zucchini
My dreams of being a criminal mastermind were thwarted by zucchini when I was about eight. I mean, there was also a stupefying lack of foresight on my part but…
Thankfulness, With Sprinkles
I am thankful for having no idea what I am most thankful for. It’s a good problem to have. I have so much to be thankful for that my brain…