I am thankful for having no idea what I am most thankful for. It’s a good problem to have. I have so much to be thankful for that my brain doesn’t even know where to begin and instead starts thinking about donuts.
Apparently I am thankful for donuts.
I am thankful, additionally, for a brain that when perplexed or overwhelmed goes instinctively to donuts. Specifically, ones with sprinkles.
I am ridiculously thankful for sprinkles—both the chocolate variety and the other kind that looks like a rainbow exploded inside the donut factory. Like it couldn’t believe it actually got to go inside a place as magical as a donut factory after years of being dragged all over the place by rainstorms and leprechauns and it just got so damned happy about it that BLAMMO! Rainbow bits everywhere.
I guess at this point it goes without saying I’m thankful that rainbows are both combustible and taste delicious instead of like, say, escargot.
I’m thankful, too, for escargot. Actually, that’s not quite accurate. I’m less thankful for the escargot itself and more thankful that someone else can eat escargot while I’m eating anything but that, most likely a donut. In that way it’s kind of like garbage collection or quantum mechanics, where you’re thankful that someone else is dealing with it so you don’t have to.
Though I suppose I’m also thankful for quantum mechanics. It’s always good to have something around that almost nobody understands or at the very least understands about as little as you. Because it’s little things like that that bring us all together. That make us realize that we’re just one big human family trying to survive this life as best we can, suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, the M-16s of unnecessary greed, and the thermonuclear missiles of people preparing escargot as if there weren’t a billion better things to eat. Like donuts. Preferably ones with sprinkles.
