Well, not literally tying them together—that sounds like a graverobbing gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Now that the pandemic is finally winding down, some people—by which I mean me—are reflecting on what exactly we just went through. These people—and here, again, I mean me—really need to knock that off. Why would you do that to yourself? Why not just move on and leave all that unprocessed trauma unprocessed, maybe go buy something for yourself instead. Maybe buy a whole lot of things, help the economy out. It’s like they—again, me—are gluttons for punishment.
Or maybe it’s far past time to write a new blog post and they—I mean, me…I mean, I…actually I can’t keep track anymore—couldn’t come up with anything better to write about.
It’s nice to be almost back to normal. Well, normal with way longer wait times for everything and less open hours to buy things that are three times as expensive. Which…actually sounds just like it was during COVID but with more crowds and less masks. Okay, I’m going to stop thinking about that.
It’s interesting to think back to the actual normal we left three years ago and remember how jarring the initial onset of COVID was. Life, in a very short amount of time, was very different. As a borderline hermit, the biggest difference for me was…well…nothing. It was pretty much the usual except that my glasses fogged up a lot more while shopping for toilet paper that wasn’t there.
Of course I’m joking. Everyone was touched by the pandemic. No one is ever the same after using one-ply toilet paper for an extended period of time.
It’s nice to have back the little things I took for granted. The really little things. For example…well, if I had to sum it up in just one word, that word would be ‘peeing.’ Not the act of peeing, of course, but rather peeing in a more logistical sense.
It’s getting harder to remember now the initial lockdown when you couldn’t leave your house and everyone was stuck inside just watching TV and reading books (which was glorious). Then the extroverts among us went a little stir crazy and started trying to tease out hidden messages from a certain letter of the alphabet. After that our State announced that maybe it would be good for us all to go outside a little bit. Get a little exercise. Get some fresh air.
But what could we actually do?
EXPLORE VERMONT, said the State.
“But…all the stores, restaurants, and hotels are shut down,” we replied.
YEAH, THAT SUCKS, said the State. DISCOVER OUR HIKING TRAILS AND BIKEPATHS. ALL THE LOVELY WATERFALLS. JUST DON’T, YOU KNOW, BREATHE NEAR ANYBODY.
“Okay,” we said.
TAKE THE KIDS, the State said.
“Do we have to?” we asked. We were a little aggravated by that point on account of them being home all day, every day like some kind of neverending, forced “quality time” circle of hell that Dante had omitted to mention.
YES, said the State, TAKE THEM ON LONG TRIPS TO OUR SCENIC AND VERDANT STATE PARKS.
“Well, that would get some of their energy and stress out,” we said.
THE RESTROOMS ARE CLOSED THOUGH, said the State.
“Wait…what?” we said.
AND WE HAVEN’T GOTTEN AROUND TO SET UP PORTA POTTIES YET.
“So, how where are we supposed to…”
MAKE SURE YOU ALL GO AHEAD OF TIME, said the State..
“You…you don’t have kids, do you?” we asked.
GET CREATIVE, the State said.
“What the hell does that mean?” we said.
GOOD LUCK, said the State, POST PICTURES!
So to me that was the nicest thing to get back after the initial lockdown–the fact that we could both travel and pee once we got there. And that, to quote Robert Frost in a context he absolutely would not have approved of, has made all the difference.
